The Iceberg

My friend asked me to videotape his daughter’s birthday party this afternoon.  Contrary to what the video (click the photo) might suggest, the kids were well-behaved and I had a nice time.  The children, who are first graders, even treated me to these gems:

Child A: Are you Korean or a foreigner?
Me: What do I look like?
Child A: You look Korean.
(If you’ve ever seen me, you’d know how funny that comment is.)

Child B: What’s your name?
Me: My name is Scott.
Child C: What’s your Korean name?
Me: My Korean name is Seo Jin-woo.
Child B (to the other children): Hey! His real name is Seo Jin-woo!

I also noticed that Korean children start “V-ing” at a very early age.

(UPDATE: I got the positions correct, but the players wrong. Still, I’m satisfied with the Seahawks’ choices of CB Kelly Jennings of Miami and DE Darryl Tapp of Virginia Tech. Bring on Hines Ward and his #&%@ Steelers! )

For the past, oh, ten or twenty years or so, the loser of the Super Bowl has gone on to have a crappy season the following year.

Not this year.

My Seahawks are talented, deep, and - (WHINE ALERT!) after getting screwed in last year’s Super Bowl - hungry. Oh yeah, and they still have their weak sisters in the NFC West to pick on. Hahahahahaha! The days of refering to my team as the “Cawks” are over.

The NFL Draft is this Saturday (in the U.S.), so I’ve been bouncing around sports sites on the Internet trying to get a feel for whom the Seahawks might choose. If I were the GM, my first round pick would go like this (providing he is still on the board):

Ashton Youboty, CB, Ohio State

According to ESPN’s scouting report, Youboty “possess ideal height, adequate bulk, and the frame to get bigger.” He’s apparently raw, but the ‘Hawks can afford to use him as the nickel corner while he improves his skills. He also has experience returning punts and the Seahawks definitely need an upgrade there. I still shudder when I think about last year’s playoff game with the Redskins.

I’ve also noticed that on a few draft boards Seattle is projected to pick DE Mathias Kiwanuka from Boston College in the second round. If he manages to slip that far and the Seahawks grab him, I’ll be a very happy fan.

GO SEAHAWKS!

Last night I posted some photos of the girl group Jewelry – a successful group in the Korean market. But for every successful group or singer rolled off the assembly line there are about fifty or so who, for one reason or another, aren’t.

I met a girl four years ago who was a member of one such group. Her name is Kim D.H. (I won’t use her full name here because I know her personally and she’s no longer in the public eye). When I first met her, she and the other members of her group were preparing for the release of their debut CD. The girls had known each other for just a few months. They were individually selected from among hundreds of aspiring performers at a set of tryouts and then introduced to one another. The managing agency provided an apartment for them in southern Seoul and ordered the girls to move in together in order to build a rapport with each other.

Over the next few months the girls recorded pre-written songs and learned pre-choreographed dance moves for their debut. They attended promotional events together. Oh, and they took lessons. Singing, dancing, grace, public speaking, and even English – all paid for by the record company. On weekends, they usually went home to spend time with their families.

Alas, success was not theirs to be had. According to D.H., the managers squabbled over the group’s image and sound, the girls’ hearts were not entirely into it, and in the end the record label ran into financial trouble. About a year after its creation, the group broke up. D.H. returned to her family’s home and enrolled in university. I haven’t spoken to her for about four months but the last I heard she was close to receiving a degree in computer programming. She still keeps in touch with the other girls but said she wants nothing more to do with the entertainment business.

What do you get when you take the Korean Christina Aguilera and stick her with three other beautiful women?  Why, you get the Korean girl group Jewelry, that’s what.  I’m not sure if they can sing or not, but they sure look good.

Occidentalism reports on the president of the Intercontinental Hotel in Seoul (I believe his name is 노브렌) likening one variation of the Korean “bomb” drink (폭탄주) to the atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima in front of the Japanese ambassador to Seoul.

Obviously this goes beyond tactless behavior, but I’ll leave discussion of the inappropriateness of his remarks to other bloggers. What jumps out at me is the wackiness of a public presentation on pounding alcohol by the president of a major company. Who does this guy think he is? John Belushi?

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve been known to imbibe on occasion and have nothing against it. I just think that the head of a corporation might want to think twice before revealing himself as a suit-wearing Bluto from Animal House. Maybe for his next presentation he’ll lecture the foreign community on how to make a beer bong. Or drink a glass of soju with no hands. Or crush beer cans on one’s forehead. Or how to avoid your own vomit when you pass out on the sidewalk. I suspect he’s working on his next speech as I write.

I just arrived back from five busy days in Seoul. After a good night’s sleep, I’ll start posting again tomorrow.

Or to put it another way, a K-MILF.  This is actress Lee Mi-sook.  She is 46 years old.  Let me repeat this.  She - is - 46 - years - old!

I sort of met Lee Mi-sook a few years ago.  I was at an Apkujong coffeeshop with a friend.  My friend pointed out that Miss Lee (she’s divorced) was sitting about three tables behind me.  I wanted to catch a glimpse of her, but I couldn’t just turn around and stare, so I got up to go to the bathroom in order to walk past her table.

Just as I was about to pass her table, Miss Lee stood up to put on her coat.   Her back was to me and she was blocking my path, so I said “excuse me” in Korean.  Apparently thinking I was a Korean autograph hound, she turned around and glared at me for an instance before realizing that I was a foreigner.  A bit flustered, she bowed her head and said, “Yes, yes.  I’m sorry,” and moved to let me by.

Here are a few more photos of a very sexy older woman.

Stolen from KBS World Radio Website

You may not have heard this, but kimchi is one of the world’s healthiest foods. In addition to fighting cancer, it also prevents SARS, AIDS, menstrual cramps, athlete’s foot, jock itch, anal warts, and domestic violence.

So it only makes sense that you find a way to cook kimchi into every dish. One of the more creative items to date is the Pastry Cream Kimchi Mille-feuille. There are twelve steps to preparing this delicacy including:

Drain the diced candied kimchi cabbage and combine with 500 g of the cooled pastry cream. Whisk the whipping cream until soft peaks form and fold it gently into the pastry cream. Transfer to a piping bag fitted with a large plain nozzle.

Tell me that doesn’t make your mouth water. But in case it doesn’t, KBS World Radio also provides a recipe for Chocolate Cake with kimchi. Mmmmm!

This inspired me to ponder what other delectable treats await the magical touch of kimchi. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far:

Kimchi candied apples
Kimchi taffy
Kimchi gum
Kimchi cotton candy
Kimchi marshmallows
Kimchi Kool-aid
Kimchi eclairs
Kimchi maple bars
Kimchi pancakes
Kimchi nasal spray

Feel free to contribute your own inspirations.

That’s right, it’s election season in Korea. And you know what that means: Charges of corruption. The Joonang Ilbo reports of Uri accusations of “an astonishing corruption case of a senior member of the opposition”.

Wow! “Astonishing“, huh? I guessed that it must have been millions of dollars in bribes from Samsung. Or the acceptance of a body waxing from Andre Kim. That would be astonishing. But alas, this corruption case turns out to be nothing more than Seoul mayor Lee Myung-bak’s alleged lies about receiving a waiver of tennis court fees amounting to roughly $20,000.

Additionally, Mayor Lee and the head of the Seoul Tennis Council supposedly had a private party which included several “thirtyish” women. What??? That is astonishing! I can’t imagine why they wouldn’t have hired women in their early-20s.

The Joongang Ilbo also reports that the Uri Party legislator, An Min-suck (the newspaper’s spelling, not mine), went on to say the women were “lecturers of vocal music”. Like this somehow adds juice to the story. What is the f***ing point?

The only truly astonishing thing about this whole story is that Korean politicians can’t think of more creative measures to attack their opponents during election season than firing off corruption accusations. Surely there must be some good sex scandals.

Racing Girl Kim Yoo-rim (김유림).

Oh, but she’s no ordinary racing girl.  Oh, no.  This girl has talent.  She’s a woman of many styles.  See for yourself.

There is the “(Incredibly Hot) Girl-next-door” Look

The ”Up Front and at Ya!” Look

The “Bootilicious” Look

The “Princess Jasmine of Your Naughty Dreams” Look

And, finally, the “Gee I’m Cute but Damn I’m Sexy” Look

Without a doubt, Miss Kim is a woman you could take home to meet Mom.  (But for godsakes keep her away from Dad!)