The Modern 여관

Iceberg on June 21st, 2006 | File Under Culture, Iceberg Confidential -

I just arrived in Seoul about an hour and a half ago and checked into a motel in Shinchon about fifteen minutes ago. Hoo boy! These motels have really improved over the past few years. For starters, I am typing this post from my room using free Internet access:

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There is a nice double bed with quality beddings:

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A large screen television (perfect for late-night World Cup viewing):

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A jacuzzi-style bathtub:

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And then there is this (I’m not sure what it is for):

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It says 사랑만들기 on the machine. So it’s for those who - cue music - FEEL LIKE MAKIN’ LOVE!!! Let’s have a closer look. We’ve got the “special condom”:

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Special indeed. No need to worry about tearing that baby. Might have to watch out for splinters though. In the next photo you will see on the left a combo condom/breathmint package and on the right a - cough, cough - “traditional” ring for men*.

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Next we have “Climax - Oil of Love” on the left (in Korean it says “Edible Oil”) and on the right we have “Fem Fem - Hanil Quasi Drug” for women. I’m not even going to comment on that one.

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Finally we have this:

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Orgasm gel (on the right). When everything else fails.

All this can be yours for a mere 40,000 won a night. All that’s missing is a little Marvin Gaye.

*UPDATE: My bad. In my haste, I misread “진동” for “전통”. So rather than a “traditional” ring, it is a “vibrating” ring.

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On Vacation

Iceberg on June 20th, 2006 | File Under Iceberg Confidential -

I expected that the luxury of more free time during my vacation would lead to more posting. I’ve since discovered an interesting phenomenon that likely applies to only my lazy ass:

Currently having no work to avoid, my eagerness to sit down and write something for this blog has waned.

This is just my initial hypothesis. I have yet to factor World Cup hangovers into the equation.

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Chicken Nuggets of Wisdom

Iceberg on June 20th, 2006 | File Under Culture, Iceberg Confidential -

I was watching the Togo-Switzerland game with a Korean friend in a little Tudari (투다리) knock-off bar last night. I called the ajumma over to order two beers (500cc) and a plate of chicken nuggets. Now, my Korean is not perfect - there are some (large) holes in my vocabulary and I make the (more than) occassional grammatical error - but my strength is my pronunciation and fluency. However, the three or four times I said, “오백 두잔 하고 치킨 너겟 하나 주세요,” I was greeted by a puzzled look from the ajumma. I noticed that she didn’t even try to process what I had said. Finally my friend said exactly as I had and the ajumma nodded her head and scurried off to the kitchen. A few minutes later she returned with a heaping pile of chicken nuggets. There were enough to feed a dozen people. She told us that she wanted to give us “a few” extra because I was a foreigner.

This little anecdote is innocuous on the surface, but I think it perfectly represents my life here. Living as a foreigner in Korea is a confluence of aggravations and pleasant experiences. The aggravations are mostly small, such as occasionally encountering a Korean whose brain locks when they see a foreigner - rendering them unable to grasp the fact that I might actually be speaking Korean. But the trade-off is that, as a foreigner (perhaps because I’m white), I am often the beneficiary of extreme acts of generosity. Sometimes uncomfortably so. Still, there is most definitely a kind yin/yang effect to living in Korea and I try to let the positive experiences linger in my memory bank longer than the negative. It’s easier to carry a cheerful disposition that way. And really, who doesn’t want to be happy?

When I am asked the question, “What would you like to change about Korea?” I offer the most diplomatic answer I can think of - which is usually, “I wish, in their daily lives, Koreans would show each other the same level of kindness that they show me.” How nice would that be?

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Served on a Platter

Iceberg on June 18th, 2006 | File Under Humor, Sports -

France coach Raymond Domenech, addressing today’s match with Korea,

“I want us to be more adventurous - I want to set the dogs free against Korea.”

If that’s his strategy, then France is in big trouble. I think we all know what Korea will do with the dogs. :-)

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Dotting ‘i’s and Crossing ‘t’s

Iceberg on June 16th, 2006 | File Under In the News -

When it comes to quality investigative journalism in Korea, I think there is no greater standard bearer than SBS Broadcasting. The professionals at SBS take great pains to check facts and scan over details with a fine-toothed comb in order to provide agenda-free, balanced, and accurate news stories to its viewing audience.

Case in point: On the 8 o’clock news (June 11), SBS ran a news story informing us of the perils of the big three brands (Nike, Adidas, Puma) dominating world sports apparel markets (ahem, including the Korean market). The network’s report mentioned that youngsters in Asia worked long hours for low wages to support these foreign companies. The fact that the anchor also mentioned that these brands’ domination of the Korean market was harming sales of home-grown brands was purely coincidental, I’m sure, since SBS is renowned for agenda-free reporting.

Oh yeah, there was one minor flaw in the report. The graphic used showed the logos for American giant Nike, German uberbrand Adidas, and the Korean knock-off Pama. I guess this muddles the message a bit.

SBS failed to mention in their report the illegality of ripping off other brands’ logos. No doubt that’ll be the subject of their next investigation. Thanks, SBS. And keep fighting the good fight.

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8 Comments

The Rain in Spain Falls Mainly on Ukraine

Iceberg on June 15th, 2006 | File Under Humor, Sports -

Spain 4 Ukraine 0

Nothing else to report. Just wanted to write that headline.

(UPDATE: Upon further consideration, I’ve concluded that this headline was neither clever nor witty. I’ll leave it here nonetheless. Many apologies and promises to cut back on the juice.)

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Spontaneous Combustion

Iceberg on June 15th, 2006 | File Under Humor -

Throw together thousands of Red Devils, passions (and horns) ablazin’…

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and this was bound to happen…

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Don’t think this is over. 

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Thanks to Jonathan for the pics.

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Why You Should Be a Red

Iceberg on June 14th, 2006 | File Under Culture, Iceberg Confidential, My Videos, Sports -

Thank god I’m on semi-vacation. At the time of this writing, I had rolled out of bed about two hours prior, actually woke up one hour prior, and started recalling the events of last night about five minutes prior. So here we go:

My co-worker and I arrived at the Wa Bar at around 9 pm last night. Remembering the line of people waiting outside of the bar at the last World Cup, I worried that we’d be unable to find a seat. My worries were unnecessary. The bar was only about half-full and we grabbed the same spot where we watched the previous night’s American debacle (oh yeah, and the Australia game too). I had mixed feelings about this. It was nice to possess such a prime location - facing the screen and right in front of the “beers in ice” - but I immediately sensed that this year’s World Cup atmosphere wasn’t going to rival that of 2002. A text message from a friend in Seoul saying, and I quote, “It’s fucking bonkers here. City Hall has been packed since 5.” had me once again questioning my decision to move to Yeosu. The mood in the bar was much like the mood overall in Yeosu, somewhat subdued. In 2002 I’d estimate that about 90% of the population was wearing red, but here the number was more like 20%. See for yourself:

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I had some time to kill before the kickoff*, so I started digging through the ice to see what was available for consumption when I stumbled across this:

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DNA in a bottle. I contemplated the ramifications of this and cursed Hwang Woo-suk, then decided that - despite my numerous flaws - I would stick with my own DNA and ordered a draft.

9:45. As game time approached the bar slowly started filling up and a few more patches of red appeared. More than a few smiles, but not a single Dae-Han-Min-Guk (DHMK) thus far. Perhaps the biggest surprise of the World Cup.

Game time. The bar was now nearly full. The only two remaining places were located directly across from me, which turned out to be serendipitous, for moments later two very lovely young ladies whom you will see in a moment strolled into the bar and occupied those very seats. Maybe Yeosu isn’t so bad after all.

Early in the game I remember thinking that it reminded me a lot of the U.S. game. Korea did well to control the ball but couldn’t create opportunities. The only difference was that they weren’t battling from behind early in the game. About twenty minutes in I turned to my friend and asked if there had been any shots on goal to that point. I think there hadn’t. The game was quite boring, frankly, and so were the patrons in the bar. No shrieks from girls whenever a Korean defender cleared the ball. Only one feeble attempt by some girls near the television to start a DHMK chant. And no looks from the girls in front of me.

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Damn!

Togo scored their goal around the thirtieth minute. The mood in the bar shifted from complacency to anxiety. At least now there was some sort of energy. I could sense things starting to build up by the time halftime rolled around. Ah yes. Halftime. That is when the night truly began. The most boisterous individual of a group of nice chaps sitting near us (and next to the two girls) decided it was time to liven up the crowd, “Everybody!!! We need to give power to our team! One, two, three, let’s go! DAE-HAN-MIN-GUK!!!” There it was. The crowd came alive. Nothing like nerves and alcohol to stir the emotions. Better yet, the two girls finally turned away from the television and we made eye contact. One of them - I’d describe her as a poor man’s Jeon Ji-hyun - smiled and I could see she was mustering up the courage to say something. You all know that look. The “prepare the word order, I can do it, it’s going to be so fun, here it comes, one-two-three SPEAK” look. Sure enough, she did it. “Hi! What’s your name? Where are you from?” BINGO!

As the second half rolled around, I suggested to our new male friends that we all knock back a 500cc glass of beer should Korea score a goal. They were keen, and so were the two girls. “We can do it too,” they pronounced. Fair enough. I wasn’t going to argue with them. Here is a photo of my new World Cup viewing partners (sans Jeon Ji-hyun, I’ll explain her absence later.)

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Ahn Jung-hwan entered the game at the start of the second half and I made the unfortunate discovery that a friend of mine has a very unhealthy man-crush on him. “That’s my boy,” he announced, “he was the man in 2002 and he’s going to get it done.” It turns out he was right. Everyone’s favorite cabbage patch doll (Lee Chun-soo) got off a nice strike following a foul and … GOALLLLLLLLLLLL! I was ready to down my glass of beer but our spirit manager had a grander idea:

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(Click photo for video)**

Translation: Everyone! Let’s all raise our glasses!

I liked this guy. A few minutes later he stood up again and shouted, “Everyone! These foreigners here are not even Korean, yet they came here wearing red clothing in support of our team. Let’s all drink in their honor!”

At this point the atmosphere was rocking. As an added bonus, the owner of the bar got caught up in the moment and offered everyone a free bottle of Budweiser for each Korean goal. S-WEET! I decided to capture the mood on video for all of you to see. (Okay, I’ll admit, I wanted to capture my two new female friends as well, but I honestly was trying to capture the mood. Straying from the subject for a moment, one of the funny things about filming with a digital camera is that people think you are taking a photo. That was the case here.)

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(Click photo for video)**

Soon after, Korea scored the go-ahead goal and it just got even crazier. The only downer of the evening was that Jeon Ji-hyun’s boyfriend rocked in with about ten minutes remaining in the game. But even that may turn into a positive, as his insistent pouting over something led to a fight with Jeon Ji-hyun and they ended up storming out of the bar. With any luck, she’ll be free for the next game.

My new friends and I stuck around for the first half of the France-Switzerland game. I decided at halftime to wander the streets and soak up the mood. It was a good decision. Every block or so I had people running up to me offering me cans of beer, candy, jerky, and more. My co-worker had left with his friend after the Korea game for another bar. I called to find out where he was and told him to come outside to meet me. While I was waiting for him, another group of friendly strangers started talking to me. They were seated outside of a small restaurant watching the second game. They offered my friend and I chairs and we sat down and watched the rest of the game with them. After the game we all went to a noraebang (singing room). All said, it was a great night. One peculiar thing I noticed, though, is that as the night wears on and the drinking persists, it seems to take a toll on certain individuals’ capacity to make a “V” for photos. Have a look:

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A lot of people complain about the overzealousness of Korean fans during the World Cup. Admittedly, “DHMK” and “Oh, pilsung Korea” can grow tiring real quick when they’re being sung over and over two years after the fact. But my advice during the World Cup is: Embrace the mood. Plunge headfirst into the River of Red and let the current take you where it may. It’s quite a fun experience.

*To my non-North American reader(s), is this term appropriate?
**For some reason, the video is choppy and the final second or two is cut off when you play it for the first time. (At least on my computer.) Just close the window and open it again to see it all.

7 Comments

Dae-Han-Min-F**ing-Guk, Mother F***er

Iceberg on June 14th, 2006 | File Under Sports -

Well done, Korea! Yeah, it was a sh*t opponent, but let’s give Korea credit for a job well done in defeating Togo. They overcame adversity and gained the points they absolutely needed to gain before heading into their tougher matches; which is more than we can say for the U.S. More on this after a good night’s sleep.

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It’s Hard Finding Inspiration with a Hangover

Iceberg on June 13th, 2006 | File Under Iceberg Confidential -

Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. After four nights in a row of football and beer, I suffered my first hangover of the World Cup. Today my creative faculties (their existence is debatable, I know) simply won’t cooperate and I can’t be arsed (more poofy English) to write anything. I expect to be fully recovered in time for tonight’s first kick-off, however, and will bring along my camera. Hopefully something good will come of it.

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