I just arrived in Seoul about an hour and a half ago and checked into a motel in Shinchon about fifteen minutes ago. Hoo boy! These motels have really improved over the past few years. For starters, I am typing this post from my room using free Internet access:

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There is a nice double bed with quality beddings:

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A large screen television (perfect for late-night World Cup viewing):

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A jacuzzi-style bathtub:

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And then there is this (I’m not sure what it is for):

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It says 사랑만들기 on the machine. So it’s for those who - cue music - FEEL LIKE MAKIN’ LOVE!!! Let’s have a closer look. We’ve got the “special condom”:

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Special indeed. No need to worry about tearing that baby. Might have to watch out for splinters though. In the next photo you will see on the left a combo condom/breathmint package and on the right a - cough, cough - “traditional” ring for men*.

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Next we have “Climax - Oil of Love” on the left (in Korean it says “Edible Oil”) and on the right we have “Fem Fem - Hanil Quasi Drug” for women. I’m not even going to comment on that one.

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Finally we have this:

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Orgasm gel (on the right). When everything else fails.

All this can be yours for a mere 40,000 won a night. All that’s missing is a little Marvin Gaye.

*UPDATE: My bad. In my haste, I misread “진동” for “전통”. So rather than a “traditional” ring, it is a “vibrating” ring.