The Iceberg

The Insular Korean Kluster (IKK) Fantasy Football League is about to kick off its inaugural season. Founded by Andy (aka “The Flying Yangban”) of Marmot’s Hole fame, the league consists of twelve teams owned by sterling members (or former members) of the expat community in Korea. I’m proud to announce that yours truly is an owner of one of the teams – the Yeosu Crack Addicts. The team’s nickname was chosen following months of exhaustive research into the turbulent history of Yeosu as a gangster-ridden harbor town where drugs were frequently trafficked and distributed throughout Korea. Okay, you can call bullshit on that one. Actually it was just the first name that popped into my head. I momentarily considered the “Turtle Ships” and the “Admirals” but, honestly, in a game defined by speed, balls, and white lines, can you think of a more formidable adversary than a Crack Addict? I thought not.

Years from now, when the IKK has grown into a mammoth money-making machine, I shall look back wistfully upon these formative years. But for now, I’m looking forward to kicking the collective asses of the following teams:

Baekche Division (my team’s division)
Bupyeong Silverbacks
Hwayang Wangjabyungs
Bupyung-Sangbok Bulgogi

Shilla Division
Mungyeong Fighting Yangbans
Wonju Wobblers
Busan Power Outage
Hahoe Mask Drama

Goguryeo Division
Samcheong-dong Rabid Marmots
Itaewon Sweet Life
Shinchon Street Pizzas
Oh Roh Gi Boong Oh Baang

Ladies and gentlemen, your Crack Addicts:

Starters

QB – Trent Green, Kansas City Chiefs
RB – Edgerrin James, Arizona Cardinals
RB – Carnell Williams, Tampa Bay Buccaneers
WR – Chris Chambers, Miami Dolphins
WR – Darrell Jackson, Seattle Seahawks
TE – Antonio Gates, San Diego Chargers
D – Seattle Seahawks
K – Josh Brown, Seattle Seahawks

Bench

QB – Steve McNair, Baltimore Ravens
RB – Mike Bell, Denver Broncos
WR – Muhsin Mohammed, Chicago Bears; Ernest Wilford, Jacksonville Jaguars Javon Walker, Denver Broncos (can’t believe the Wobblers dropped him)
TE – L.J. Smith, Philadelphia Eagles
D – Dallas Cowboys

Week One victim: Busan Power Outage

Conversational exchange over chicken and beer last night:

Co-worker A: Have any of you tried donkey meat? I wonder what it tastes like.

Co-worker B: I imagine it tastes like ass.