The Iceberg

I guess there are a few people out there who do give a rat’s ass about the Miss Universe pageant (won by Miss Japan - Riyo Mori…Miss Korea was the third runner-up). I woke up this morning and checked out the hits for the blog and was surprised to see that the number of visitors yesterday had jumped by over 2000. The majority of them came here through some variety of a search for Miss Korea - Honey Lee. Today there have been over 3000 more visitors than the daily average, and there’s still time left in the day.

I decided that I would be irresponsible to not use the opportunity that has been bestowed upon me - this temporary spike in traffic - to send a message that needs to be heard out to the world.

Viewers of the Miss Universe pageant - those of you who witnessed the speeches and smiles and evening gowns and bikinis and stumbles and falls - sure, it appeared as if the contestants were bosom buddies and all is well in the world (of beauty queens). But did you know that there has been a long-running feud between Miss Korea and Miss Japan?

The controversy revolves around a special technique involving breast (or “tracts of land” for you Monte Python fans) implants developed by a Western plastic surgeon residing in East Asia. I won’t bore you with the details of the technique, they are not pertinent to the story. What is important is that both Miss Korea and Miss Japan lay claim to being the first to discover the good doctor’s “tracts of land” method. To pay homage to the doc (and themselves) the women decided to give their new “tracts of land” names. Miss Korea called her left one “Dok” and the right one “do”, while Miss Japan refered to her’s as the “Takeshima Tatas”. For awhile, neither made much of the other’s claim of being the first. But then one day they realized the economic benefits and that’s when the “Tastes Great - Less Filling” squabble began. (Wait, that’s another dispute…sorry).

Will the two ever be able to get along? One never knows. Perhaps they will find common ground someday. Why, there have already been signs of agreement between the two women. When asked what they thought of the man who performed their surgeries, Dr. Leopold Liancourt, both answered with a resounding, “(Dr.) Liancourt Rocks!”

Jeon brought home the award for her work in the movie “Secret Sunshine”. Read the Yonhap News article here.

Did I mention that she is my favorite Korean actress? Way to go, Do-yeon baby, YEAH!

By the way, check out this photo. Take your slimy eyes off of my Do-yeon, you greasy-cheesy French actor, you. Anyone who has to wear a “star” pin on his lapel obviously isn’t one. That’s right, I’m talkin’ to you!

(Sorry, got a little carried away again.)

While other bloggers in Korea are filled with the excitement of following their teams in the NBA conference finals (Lost Nomad/Cleveland Cavaliers, About Joel/Utah Jazz) - bastards! - we bottom feeders have to find joy wherever we can. And today I did. The Sonics overcame great odds to win the second pick in this year’s NBA draft…and the right to select Kevin Durant from the University of Texas…

…or Greg Oden…so it’s all good. Both players are franchise changers. In Durant’s case, here is what ESPN.com’s Chad Ford has to say,

“I know it’s blasphemy to compare anyone to Michael Jordan. We learn this every time someone compares Kobe Bryant to MJ.

But I think Durant is the guy with the best chance of duplicating Jordan’s influence on and off the court.

At his size and with his unique skill set, he’s capable of doing things no one in the NBA is able to do. He’s driven. He’s relentless. And some folks (including those at Nike) believe he has the potential to be the MJ-style face of the game in ways LeBron, Kobe and others have not quite done.”

Now we just have to wait and see if a year from now Durant will be playing for the Seattle Sonics, or the (choose one) Oklahoma City, Kansas City, Las Vegas Sonics. I’ll never forgive you, Howard Schultz. Boycott Starbucks!!! Sorry. Got a little carried away there. Anyway, sorry Joel and Nomad, but this year it’s the Spurs.

The Miss Universe Pagent is set to start on May 28.  I really couldn’t give a rat’s ass about it, but I figured now’s a good time to show you some photos of Korea’s representative, Honey Lee (이하늬).

The following information was taken from the official Miss Universe website:

What are your interests and what do you enjoy doing the most?
I love to learn foreign languages including English, ancient Hebrew, Chinese, and Japanese. Moreover, I enjoy dancing and traveling. I also play various musical instruments as well, including the Kayageum, which is a Korean traditional instrument, violin, piano, and flute.

What do you want the judges to know about you?
I am eclectic. I am a 3rd degree black belt in Taekwondo, a competitive skier and a scuba diver. I am a professional player of Kayageum and have released 4 CDs and played in more than 25 countries worldwide, including concerts at Carnegie Hall in New York City. I am already an ambassador of culture for Korea and was recently named a Kayageum prodigy by the Kumho Art Center, the most prestigious musical foundation in Korea. I am in graduate school at Seoul National University, the top university in Korea. When I graduated with my Bachelor’s degree (also from Seoul National University), I received my honors degree from there. My volunteer work includes work for UNICEF, Compassion and World Vision (an NGO) and I sponsor a child. My future goals includes work with the U.N.

Read more about Miss Lee here.

From the Chosun Ilbo:

A new exhibition will show previously unseen photographs of war-torn Korea taken by two British officers in 1953. Anthony Younger, an artillery officer, and Keith Glennie-Smith, a medical officer, took dozens of snapshots while serving in the Korean War. Sixty of their photos will be displayed to the public for the first time from May 18 to August 18 at the Seoul National University Museum in Seoul.

For information about getting to the museum visit this page at the museum’s website.

My plan to take over the world (of home entertainment) is one step closer to fruition. Buhahahahaha!!! I present to you the Abigs Multimedia Player (Model DVP-370) by Sarotech.

I paid 280,000 won at Yongsan Electronics Market for the player and a 500-gigabyte hard drive that is installed inside.

What exactly is the Abigs Multimedia Player, you ask? It’s an external hard drive by day and a multimedia center by night. Plug this puppy into your computer and it’s a hard drive. You can save anything onto it, including music, photos, and videos. I, of course, only load videos that I personally have shot. I would never save movies (or music) that have been downloaded from BitTorrent sites such as Mininova or BlueYoyo. That would be illegal. But if you are the immoral type who has no problem with that you could then proceed to disconnect this device from your computer and plug it into your television or home theater system…

and voila! You have a list of every form of media saved on the disk at your fingertips.

The multimedia player comes with its own remote control, so volume, screen size, fast-forward/rewind, captions, and a host of other options can be selected from the comfort of your sofa. Just choose a (home) movie, microwave a bag of popcorn, and enjoy.

According to this JoongAng Daily article, young Korean females are asserting themselves as “alpha girls”. To quote the Daily,

What’s an alpha girl?
They are elite girls who excel in all aspects of life, including academia, athletics and leadership. Unlike older generations, they do not feel being a female limits them in any way.

Good on them. In my personal experience in the classroom, I’ve witnessed that the girls generally work harder than the boys and it’s good that they are finally being rewarded for their effort. So, what are some examples of this “power grabbing”? Let’s go back to the article…

“I have never limited my goals and dreams just because I am a female,” says Lee Chung-hui, 21, a junior at Sungkyunkwan University. She was the first female president of the university’s cheerleading club, which was established in 1977.

Alright!!! Head cheerleader!

Baby steps.

Well, it’s been decided. I’ve cast my lot with the Suwon BlueWings. I went to another K-League game, this time between Suwon and Incheon United. The difference was, this time I went with one of the P.E. teachers from our school, who happens to be a tried and true member of the “Ultras”*. Who are the “Ultras”, you ask? They are a hardcore group of about twenty people who lead the Suwon cheering section behind the north-end goal. Thanks to this man, I was able to venture deep into the heart of the “Blues”(about three rows up from the field). Despite a heavy downpour at times, it was good fun. I was surrounded by shirtless men in their 20s, moshing high school boys, and shrieking schoolgirls. Yes, that’s right. I said it was fun. You’ll just have to trust me. Or watch the video and decide for yourself.

Nice goal by Lee Gwan-woo (이관우), eh?

The first game I attended at Suwon World Cup Stadium (a 3-1 Suwon victory over FC Seoul), I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what the crowd was chanting. “Suwon….what? Blah-blah-ing” This time I got it. They are chanting, “Suwon BlueWing,” only they’ve got their own interesting pronunciation. It goes, “Su-won Buh-loo-wing”. It grew on me.

After the game I returned to Anyang for some barbequed beef (소갈비살) and beer. Good stuff.

*I also discovered that there is a bus in Anyang that goes directly to the stadium. Actually, it drops you off about a ten-minute walk from the stadium, but close enough.

The Chosun Ilbo, the Marmot’s Hole, and Lost Nomad have all reported on the latest celebrity “breast exposure” - this time involving singer and body extraodinaire Daham of the pop duet “Foxy”. But only The Iceberg gives you the actual goods. Click and enjoy. (Not safe for work!)

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My classroom at the high school needed a little spicing up, so I downloaded some photos from the Internet, added some captions, printed them out, and put them up on the walls.  This one is one of my favorites: