I think.

You know, it is not easy pulling together the paperwork necessary for getting married in Viet Nam - or any other foreign country, I would imagine - especially when one lives neither there nor in his/her home country.

All I can say is, thank god for the Internet. I can’t imagine what someone in my situation would have done in the pre-Internet age.

Having said that, the Internet is not a perfect beast. There is information out there to get you started, but the imperfect manner in which it is presented requires a lot of trial-and-error to get things right. I have spent hours visiting and re-visiting embassy websites, other government websites, and even blogs trying to make sense of the process and requirements for marrying the soon-to-be Mrs. Iceberg. One website will say one thing, and another will say another thing. I’d get contact numbers, but on the phone one person would say one thing, and another person would say another.

The quest began with a Google search, “marriage to a Vietnamese citizen”. I was led to the American consulate in Ho Chi Minh City and the Vietnamese embassy in Washington, D.C. websites. Each provided a list of required documents. “Alright, easy enough,” I thought. Boy, was I naive.

For example, one required document is a certificate of “No Marriage Record” from your state of residence (in my case - Washington state). Basically, the “No Marriage Record” certificate is obtained after the state searches your records starting from legal age (18) to the present and finds - naturally - no record of marriage.

I looked over the website for the Washington State Department of Health (which handles vital records), but could find no information about such a certificate. The next day (time differences, you know) I called the department and the representative on the phone said they didn’t have anything like that. I explained to him that the Government of Viet Nam requires such a document and, if my home state doesn’t provide it, what did he suggest I do? He told me to contact the U.S. embassy in Korea.

So I did. They told me that oftentimes, in lieu of a certificate of “No Marriage Record”, the Vietnamese government will accept an “affidavit of eligibility to marry” notarized by the embassy. “Cool,” I thought, but to be sure I sent an email to the Vietnamese embassy in Korea asking if that was true. The reply was, “yes”.

Off I went to the embassy.

I took a number at the embassy (only about 37 people in front of me) and, while waiting, looked over the different forms available. I saw it. “Affidavit of Eligibility to Marry”. I took the form and filled it out and, when my number was called, I went to the counter.

“Is the person you’re going to marry Korean?” the woman at the counter asked.

“No, she’s Vietnamese,” I responded.

“Uh, this form is only for someone who is going to marry a Korean citizen,” she informed me.

“I see. Then what form should I fill out?” I asked.

“What exactly are you trying to do?”

I explained to her about the certificate of “No Marriage Record” and how I was told by both the U.S. and Vietnamese embassies that an “Affidavit of Eligibility to Marry” received from the embassy would serve in place of the certificate, so I was there to create that affidavit. She told me again that the form was only for Americans marrying Korean citizens. Frustrated and perplexed, I asked her if there was some general affidavit form that I could fill out and have notarized. She handed me the standard affidavit form and told me to write what I wanted to attest to and bring it back to her.

I sat down, wrote “I am eligible to marry” and handed the form to her along with my passport. A few minutes later another woman called my name. I went to the counter and she asked me,

“What exactly are you trying to do here?”

Again, I explained my situation.

“I don’t think this is likely to suffice, but I’ll stamp it for you,” she told me - an expression of doubt on her face.

Fast forward about three weeks to when I finally had some time to venture back into Seoul (at least when I had time to go during regular business hours). Feeling uneasy, I decided that I’d better pay a visit to the Vietnamese embassy to check if this affidavit was sufficient (as well as confirm that all of the other documents I had gathered were correct). I was pointed toward a woman working there and I proceeded to show her my documents and explain to her my unique situation.

“How did it play out?” you ask?

“I don’t know exactly what forms you need, because every province in Vietnam is different. Why don’t you go to the American embassy in Hanoi?” she suggested, appearing a bit annoyed that I was presenting her with an “outside-of-the-box” scenario.

“If I could go to the embassy in Hanoi, I gladly would,” I told her, “but I live and work in Korea and to this point it’s been impossible to visit Hanoi during the week. I already know which forms are required. I would just like you to tell me if everything is right.” I specifically pointed to the goofy affidavit and proceeded to explain again my trouble.

“I don’t know. You have to go to the embassy in Hanoi,” she said again, “and you need to get these other documents stamped.”

Thoroughly aggravated, I left the Vietnamese embassy and took a taxi to the U.S. embassy to get the documents stamped - as well as to see if someone there might be able to ease my mind. Again, I took a number and waited. This time, about 42 people in front of me.

At the window, I presented the documents and said that I needed to have them notarized.

“Are you marrying a Korean citizen?” the woman asked me.

“No, a Vietnamese citizen,” I replied.

“Oh, I see. Please sit down and wait.”

About fifteen minutes later, a woman called my name and I went into a room to talk with her. It turns out that she had worked for some time in the American embassy in Ho Chi Minh City and had more knowledge of the situation than anyone else.

“Are you here with your fiancee?” she asked me.

“No, she’s in Hanoi,” I said.

“Then we cannot stamp these documents,” she informed me.

“Why not?” I asked.

“Because her name is on the documents, so she needs to be present.”

I went on to explain that, while her name was on the documents, it was not in any part of the document where a sworn statement occurred, so I couldn’t understand why it was relevant - but to no avail. I gave up and was preparing to leave when the woman told me,

“Also, you are probably going to need a certificate of ‘No Marriage Record’ from your state of residence.”

I’d come full circle.

Fully exasperated, I resigned myself to the thought that we would have to push the date of marriage back a bit. I have a week off at the beginning of June and that is when we planned to submit all of the documents to the Ministry of Justice in Viet Nam, who then proceed to take weeks to decide if they will grant a certificate for marriage*. Now, we’d simply have to use that time to visit the embassy in Hanoi and see if we could sort through the confusion once and for all.

Then, on a whim, last Monday (night) I decided to contact the Washington State Department of Health again. This time the person on the phone told me that they could indeed provide a certificate for “No Marriage Record” and explained the process for having it rushed to me. I faxed all of the relevant information to the department, paid for it by credit card, and have been checking non-stop the UPS tracking number for its status. At this very moment it is in transit - currently located in a small city near my home. There could be a knock at my door any moment now.

Thank god for the Internet.

*The future Mrs. Iceberg has a cousin who works for the police department in her hometown who is pulling some strings to cut down on the process time for the “certificate for marriage”. We originally thought this would mean the document would be ready the first week of June, but now it is looking like it will be about twenty days (rather than about five or six weeks). Not sure about that though. Could end up being only a day or two. Depends entirely on whose desk the application winds up on and what kind of mood they’re in.

UPDATE - Not more than fifteen minutes after I posted this, the UPS delivery guy showed up at my door. Everything seems to be set. Cross your fingers.